Ewoks, Creavers, and Muppets, Oh My
by chezchuckles
Summary: Post-episode oneshot for 'Final Frontier'; Part Two added for fun.
1. Chapter 1

**Ewoks, Creavers, and Muppets, Oh My**

* * *

Kate digs her toes into the top of his thigh, rocks her heels back, then her toes, a strange rhythm as they sit on his couch and watch her ridiculous sci-fi show. Castle finally gets fed up with it and loops his arm over her ankles, clamps down.

Kate startles, popcorn halfway to her mouth, and gives him a wide-eyed look. "What?"

"You're kneading my leg, Beckett. What's up with you? First a Creaver and now a cat?"

"Cat's better, don't you think?" she recovers, arching an eyebrow. "And hush, you're missing the best part."

"You know, when I made this deal, I didn't know you'd be quoting it."

Kate twists on the couch, removing her feet from his thigh and settling her side against his, shoulder to shoulder, an arm through his. "Yeah, but I compromised, so hush."

Is she still grinning about that? Not funny, Beckett. She makes him wait for ages, and then she comes out like _that? _

Compromised. Hmph. He hid in the bathroom with his Mandalorian bounty hunter until she cajoled him out with the promise that they'd watch one for one - one of her _Nebula Nine_ episodes and then an episode of a sci-fi show of his choice.

He picked _Farscape_.

It's been a battleground all weekend. She snorts whenever the muppets come on screen, rolls her eyes when a live actor cries over a dead alien puppet. It sucks because he promised not to make fun, but he is _dying_ to make fun. _N9_ is as campy as it gets, and that Captain Max Reynard is such a ridiculous-

"Stop," she growls, hooking her finger in his and twisting.

"Ow," he yelps. "What was that for? I didn't say a word."

"I can see it on your face, Castle. Trying to-"

"Hey, come on. You can't police my thoughts, Beckett. No fair."

She narrows her eyes but goes back to her show. He's got another seven minutes of keeping his mouth shut and then he gets to switch to _Farscape_ - which at least is an epic love story even if it does have muppets. Really. The muppets are-

"It's like _Fraggle Rock_ meets _Star Trek_, Castle. You can't tell me that-"

He presses his fingers over her mouth and she stutters to a stop, that narrow-eyed _oh no you didn't _look falling over her face. She doesn't scare him.

She does scare him.

Little bit.

He drops his fingers hastily, pulling them out of the reach of her teeth, preemptively defends his ears. "You can't diss _Farscape_ when it's not even _on_, Beckett."

"Castle. The rules are that when it's on is _exactly_ the time I can't trashtalk. Which leaves me only now-"

"You're breaking the spirit of the law."

"Come _on_," she growls, sarcasm heavily lacing her voice. "You want me to take your pick for a science-fiction show seriously? Don't show me muppets."

"Forget the muppets. It's a _love_ story, Beckett."

"I want a story about space and aliens and social commentary and-"

"It's got that. I swear. Give it a shot."

_Nebula Nine_'s closing credits suddenly pop onscreen, the swell of melodramatic music and the final parting of the last ship of humanity fading into the starfield.

"Fine," she grumbles. "Bring on the muppets. But please - skip ahead to a good one."

He rolls his eyes and gets up to change the DVD.

* * *

His arm is around her shoulder and she plays with his fingers, turns her head to brush her lips across his forearm, rests her cheek at the crook of his elbow. She's restless, he can tell, but if that means he's on the receiving end of all this pent-up stir-crazy energy, then they will keep watching _Farscape _till the cows come home.

Forever.

Always.

Never stop.

Oh jeez, her tongue. Why is she doing that? Is she _trying_-

Oh. Oh, she isssss. Little minx. She's trying to _seduce_ him away from his show. How devious.

He's tempted. He really is. He should-

She giggles and he jerks his head to her, narrows his eyes.

She waves her hand towards him in dismissal; onscreen, his favorite couple are doing their usual dance - they love each other, but they just won't _say. _So frustrating. Everyone else can see it.

"What are you laughing about?" he grumbles.

"Nothing. Sorry, no. Not your show. Look, it's real people, not even muppets. And actually, whew, John Crichton is hot. So-"

"Yeah, he looks like me. I see the resemblance-"

She twists in his loose embrace, lifts an eyebrow, and actually _studies_ him. Like-

"Not a bit," she says finally, shakes her head. "But I was just thinking - picturing - a tiny Princess Leia and your ominous Darth Vader strolling through SuperNovaCon-"

"It was awesome," he grins.

"I bet your costume was perfect."

"Of course it was. I even learned how to braid Alexis's hair for that."

"Are you kidding me?" she laughs, sitting up a little to look at him. "No, no, you're not. I can see you doing that. Down to the last detail, even for your kid's costume."

"Too easy to just buy those braided ear muff things. Gotta put some real effort into it."

"Of course. Totally," she grins, shaking her head. "Good thing you didn't need any protection, Castle. Hate for you to lose out on years of SuperNovaCon costumes."

"Who needs kids for that?" he tosses off, then pauses, slides a glance at her, studying her face. "Was that. . .that's twice in the past few days. You _saying _something, Beckett?"

"Am I - no. What?"

He narrows his eyes at her, she narrows hers back.

"So this is not a conversation about having kids." He lifts both eyebrows at her, and her face flushes.

"No."

But see, he's a _writer_, and his imagination takes the tiniest seed of an idea and it roots in his brain like his grey mater is miracle-gro, and it just runs wild, blooming like crazy, and now-

Now he's seeing a pint-sized Luke Skywalker nearly knocked over by his double-bladed lightsaber, with maybe a baby Chewy snuggled up - or oh, cute, an Ewok, that black button nose, and yes, he'd totally recycle the Leia costume, or even just go a whole different route - Queen Amidala, a fierce baby girl like her-

"Castle," Kate warns, her fingers squeezing his.

"No?" he answers, too much question in it.

"_Castle_."

"Right. No. Of course not."

Her eyes are wide on his, but not as frantic as he might have guessed. Not as convinced either.

She's not convinced.

He's not either.

"You like the Ewoks?" he murmurs.

She sucks in a breath. "Cute."

"Yeah," he sighs. "Adorable."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah."

She presses the back of her hand to her mouth, turns her face to the television again.

Yes. _Farscape_. Right.

"I just. . .wanted to have the option," he says finally.

Her fingers twitch in his.

It's silent for a long moment, too silent, both of them breathing, keeping it in control. This is not a conversation, this isn't even a question.

It's just a stupid phaser that made his hands green. Nothing more.

"I'm glad you still have the option," she says suddenly.

Ewok. Definitely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ewoks, Creavers, and Muppets, Oh My**

Part Two

* * *

"You mind?" she asks, suddenly hesitant at the foot of his bed. She didn't ask, just assumed she'd stay.

His hand slides along her waist as he moves around her to the bathroom. "Why would I?"

She shrugs, finishes pulling her shirt off. Cold fingers skim her spine and she hisses, straightening up at the touch, then elbows him away. "You're cold."

"Warm me up," he leers.

She casts him a sidelong look, slowly unbuttons her pants. His grin gets wider, goofier, and he tangles his fingers with hers, brings her hips against him.

"Hey there," he murmurs.

She laughs softly and receives his kiss with a touch of her tongue, loves the shiver that runs over his skin. He shifts closer, hands sliding up her back, mouth traveling down her neck.

Mm, good.

Won't take long now.

* * *

She's climbing a tree. Funny. The wind makes the top branches bend under her weight and she sways, heart thudding.

Something on her back. Something warm and furry, small. Like a koala.

A nose nuzzling her neck, warm, not wet, babbling. The dappled leaves across her face shifting into the shadow of the blinds across the bed.

The koala snuggles in.

Kate grunts and rolls, jerks at the soft mushy give of the thing-

"Don't crush him," Castle laughs.

What?

She turns to look and an Ewok is clinging to her, happy faced, wrinkled up nose, dark eyes-

"Kate," he chides again. "Don't crush the baby. Jeez."

The baby?

* * *

Grease and dirt stain the whorls of her fingers, thick under her nails. She bends over the engine of the Crown Vic, but it's no use. Give up the ghost, Kate.

"Here, Mommy."

A sharp rap against her shin and she yelps, glancing down.

Ewok is giving her a hammer. His face upturned, a wide grin. "I help."

"Not with a hammer," she mutters, turning back to the car.

But this isn't her car anymore. The Crown Vic is dead, dead, dead. When? Months ago. Gave up the ghost.

The little ghost at her feet pushes his head into the backs of her knees. "I help."

"No."

She has a Charger now. With a beauty of an engine. She-

"Why? I help."

"This isn't my car."

She glances down.

"You're not mine either."

* * *

She's chasing him, running flat out. Lungs burning. She has to get him. Before-

Her ankle turns in the gravel and she goes down to one knee, hands catching her fall, grease on her palms and staining the rocks, turning to blood, dark blood, red and thick. She tries to get up, but the weight on her back drags her down.

"Up."

"No. Get off-"

"Horsey."

Horsey?

She reaches back and feels soft fur, groans, closes her eyes, presses her forehead to the gravel.

* * *

A nudge on her chin and she lifts her head to the dark swirl of stars and the dizzying black of night. Little fingers pat her cheek.

"Why you sleep?"

She blinks and the small body resolves, furry belly sticking out, dark eyes on her. She sits up, shoulders drooping, arms hanging at her sides, hopelessness swamping her. The Ewok sidles closer.

"You wake now?"

"No," she sighs, but she opens her arms to it, lets him come and cuddle into her.

Fuzz in her mouth from the stupid costume, knees pierced by gravel, hands sticky with grease or blood or something she can't name-

The little thing sighs, a great long breath of relief, and she can't help drawing her arms tighter around him.

* * *

A small hand in hers, strong fingers but thin, childish. She glances down and the little face peers up, brown and wise eyes, pulling her to her feet. "Like this."

"Kate, catch up. One more house before we call it a night."

She lifts her head and Castle is strolling ahead of her on the gravel drive, both hands holding on to little ones, white robes, brown belts, lightsabers for flashlights, jack-o-lantern buckets. Castle in black, the swirl of a cape, imperial.

Oh no.

No.

Kate takes a quick look at herself and damn-

White pants, stomach bared, armband.

She's Padme. Ass-kicking Padme, but still.

Jeez, this is taking the joke too far.

But she gets to her feet, grips the Ewok's hand tighter, and follows him into the night.

* * *

"Mommy." A whisper in the darkness.

And then again. "Mommy."

Kate opens her eyes, sees chubby cheeks, the fringe of a fur hood, two fingers pushed into his mouth.

And two more just like him.

"Mommy," from the last one. They all blink at her, sucking on their fingers, three heads barely clearing the bed, watching her.

Three. Three Ewoks.

"Mo-"

"I'm up."

Is she up?

The middle one lifts a hand to her, wet and curling. "We crawl in."

She's not up. This isn't real. _Three._

"We. Crawl. In." Insistent little things.

"Yeah. Okay."

She grunts as knees push into her ribs, elbows dig into her thigh, three hot little bodies trying to wriggle in between her and-

Castle.

Whoa. Wait a second. Three?

There is no way she'd let this man get her pregnant with _triplets._

Three little Ewoks curl into her like nesting kittens, furry bellies and slow-blinking eyes. She catches the ear of the baby closest to her, tugs.

"Why are you all wearing that costume?" she mutters, wrinkling her nose at the sweaty smell of him and plucking at the hood to draw it back.

"No," he screeches. "No, no, no-"

"Okay, okay," she appeases, cupping his little face in her hands. "Stays on."

He's so small. They all barely take up room. Are kids this small? The one near Castle has burrowed up under Rick's arm, mouth open and drooling, while the middle one seems content to steal their pillows.

Fat cheeks but _still _so very small. This one fits right against her side with his feet at her hipbone, getting purchase, and his round, baby arm over her ribs. He snuggles in, the furry hood matted and sticky with way too long a wear, and he's too warm, he's like a leech, but he's-

hers.

They're all hers.

* * *

Eggs smell good. She turns and finds herself getting milk out of the fridge, her fingers cold, a sippy cup in her other hand.

"Hurry, Kate."

What?

A body collides into the back of her knees and nearly brings her down. Only Castle's quick grip, fingers tight around her upper arm, keeps her from spilling milk.

"Hey, let go of Mom."

_Mom._

Two hands are gripping her by her belt loops, tugging, and she looks down into the narrow, childish face pouting up at her. Long brown hair that Kate can't help brushing back from her forehead. A girl.

What happened to the Ewoks?

"Dad won't let me-"

"Wait." She's not awake. Not awake enough for this.

"I already told you no." Castle is detaching the girl from Kate's jeans, pushing her towards the table. Kate follows the girl with her eyes, sees her join the Ewoks at the table. And there's another boy, older. _Another boy._

Five? No. No, that's _crazy._

"Eggs are ready. Kate, get their milk."

Yeah, yeah, she's _getting_ it.

She's lost her mind.

* * *

The noise rushes in, violent, sudden, and Kate gasps as someone shoves into her from behind. She turns her head, aliens all, strangers, the crowded push of costumes and body paint and feathers.

A brush of fur at her cheek.

She grips him, shifting the Ewok higher on her hip.

"Which one are you?" she mutters.

"Ewok."

"Yeah, I see that," she sighs.

Baby fingers play at her collarbone.

"Where Daddy?"

Good question.

And where are the Luke and Leia from before, the sullen brown-haired girl, the hazy and indistinct older boy eating his eggs?

Ewoks crawling into bed with her.

_Five._

Jeez. How did this happen? She doesn't remember them talking about this. Surely she'd remember agreeing to _five kids._

Baby Ewok curls his fingers in her hair. "Where Daddy?"

"I. . .don't know."

The crowd is thick around them, and she's shoved again, her feet tangling-

* * *

Kate wakes with a bounce, breath rattling in her chest, harsh and quick, the sense of falling slow to leave her.

Darkness is so black that she can't see, can't even tell if her eyes are really open. Her heart is pounding but her body is heavy with the drag of exhaustion.

"Bad dream?"

She startles at the nearness of his voice and half turns in bed to look at him. The outline of his nose, the round edge of his cheek-

"Kate?"

"Yeah. Something." She scrapes a hand down her face. "Just. Not five, Castle. I can't do five."

"Five?"

The rough edge of his voice, still laced with sleep, pulls her raggedly from her own dream. Her cheeks burn in the darkness and she huffs a laugh.

"Never - nothing. Nothing," she groans.

Castle's arm slips around her, pats awkwardly at her breast in sympathy or reassurance, before he falls right back to sleep.

Oh jeez.

_Five._

"Not happening," she mutters, but she rolls into him, presses her mouth to his shoulder and breathes him in.

Bad dream. Just a dream.

But she has trouble falling back asleep; she keeps waiting for that furry little hood and those dark brown eyes to find her in the darkness.


End file.
